203 I don’t know..
203 I don’t know..
Leilani.
Resigning myself to my fate, I quietly waited for the second strike… for him to hit me one more time, to finish what he had just started; But surprisingly, it never came.
I felt nothing…
But I was still very scared.
Earlier on, I had squeezed my eyes shut in fear of what would happen. I had been scared that I didn’t want to see my Jarek like this… so now, when I slowly peeled my eyes open, half expecting to find him trying to lunge at me or perhaps snapping out of his daze, I was shocked when I saw quite the opposite instead.
A stifled gasp slipped past my lips when I found him half lunging- half hanging midair, his claws extended, his face curved into a deep snarl as he tried and failed continuously to strike me.
He looked like he was struggling to reach me and at first I thought that it was his wolf acting up until I saw the maniacal way in which he was fighting against whatever force held him hostage.
His eyes- glinting with fury— met mine in an instant and a strange feeling of fear surged through me when his fangs elongated as he seethed; “Let me go!”
Huh?
I frowned, confused.
“Let me go you filthy accursed wolf!”
His callous words struck at my heart so badly but reminding myself that this wasn’t him, that this could never be what he truly thought of me, I shakily rose to my feet with wobbly legs and took a frightened step back.
“Jarek?” I tried again, but this time, he didn’t exactly respond. He instead snapped his teeth at me; And goddess I knew… I immediately knew that that was only a visual of the things he could do to me.
…of the things that this current Jarek planned to do to me.
I wanted to leave. Heavens, I really wanted to. But knowing Jay, and knowing how he would’ve never left if I was the one in his shoes, my feet remained rooted to the floor, and my eyes on him never faltered even as my heart raced so much I feared it was
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203 I don’t know..
about to fall out.
I took a shaky step back when it began to look like he was actively fighting- and almost winning- against the barriers holding him away; And when he looked up at me and hissed; “Let me go!” again, I began to wonder if truly it had anything to do with me.
I wanted to see, to know why he was so head bent on believing that I was behind it… so I tried doing something that a lot of you would consider stupid. I turned away.
Like turned away and tried to leave, letting my guard down and all…
And as soon as I did that…
*Crash!*
He ran into me from behind, shoving me against the wall. And because I’d been so stunned, not expecting that something like that would happen, I bumped headfirst into the wall in front of me, my breath catching as I struggled to keep myself upright.
I spun around so fast, my head nearly reeled as I cried out; “arggghh!”
But that was the last thing I said before he rammed into me again. However, this time, something in me shifted.
A strange sensation coiled tight at the base of my stomach. Maybe it was anger… or frustration… or something in between but I found myself hoisting him up over my shoulders amidst the array of weird jolts running up my spine; and then I threw him hard against the floor.
So hard I feared his bones would break.
And please don’t laugh…
Please. Don’t.
But as soon as I did that, the maniacal look in his eyes instantly disappeared, replaced instead with confusion and fear. Fear as if he was scared of me, when it was supposed to be the other way around.
He scuttled backwards with wide eyes and I couldn’t help but notice how insanely hot he looked with his hair plastered on his forehead…
…and how insanely scared he looked of me.
A smile tugged on my face at the realization that my friend was back; And I mumbled; “I’m sorry I threw you so hard.”
“Did I touch you?”
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And it wasn’t until he asked that question that I realized why he looked so afraid. He wasn’t scared that I had hurt him… he was scared of hurting me.
That thought… Goddess, that thought made me feel something I haven’t felt before. It made my chest swell with warmth and made my breath catch. It made goosebumps sprout on my skin and made my scalp tingle weirdly.
I wanted to smile but I could only feel tears in my eyes.
And despite myself, despite how he’d almost hurt me moments ago, I found myself walking up to him and kneeling to wrap my arms around his quaking shoulders.
His shoulders trembled when I pulled him close to my body, and in a voice that was so small, it was barely audible, he whispered; “I’m so so sorry, Leilani. Don’t be mad at
me.” 2
But how could I be mad at him?
How could I be mad at the one person who’s shown me nothing but kindness?
I kissed his temple softly, closing my eyes to drag in a lungful of his rich scent which now was mixed with his sweat. His head rested on my shoulder- around the crook between my neck and shoulder; And then he sighed.
“I’m sorry,”
“You really did not hurt me.” I lied easily, even though I knew that he had. Even though I had felt the sharp sting around my midriff after that first strike.
Jarek tilted his head back to look me in the eyes, and I could swear that I didn’t miss the disbelief in his eyes, or the way he looked as though he could see right through me as he whispered;
“You’re lying”
Yes, I was. I shook my head. “No.”
However, I had just said that when he raised my jacket and t-shirt- before I could utter another word; And to my utmost surprise, underneath… right where I had felt a sharp pain earlier was now smeared with dried blood.
But that was all.
There was no scar. No injury. No nothing.
Just dried blood to tell tales of the ugly scar that had lasted for only a few minutes or seconds.
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His eyes met mine and held… then slowly widened with each passing second, his voice trembling as he whispered; “You heal very fast?”
And this is not the first time a thing like this was happening… it is just the fastest.
“You also held me back with magic when I was going mad, didn’t you?” He continued, but truthfully, I couldn’t respond.
Because what was there to say?
How could I tell him that I didn’t know what was happening to me…?
That I may be related to a psychotic Lycan Alpha?
My heart raced in my chest and I pulled him into another hug and whispered under my breath; “I don’t know…”
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