Leilani.
The room smelled of gloom and death.
And ash.
A lot of it.
There was no fire. No smoke and definitely no ash. Just a bed standing in the middle of the room like something straight out of a horror movie. Beside it was a large folder, a laptop and some bottles of medicine... and on the bed was a man.
A man who was more than a friend. More than a lover and was the only thing I had close to family for the past five years.
My breath hitched in my throat when despite all the noise... and all the chaos, he still wouldnāt move an inch. Hell, he was as stiff as a statue and as cold as the glaciers in Antarcticaā and I know this because I brushed my fingers over his chin, shuddering slightly when that sent chills down my spine.
"Jarek..." My voice was cold and small. It sounded like it had come from a hundred miles away. It had scratched its way right through the deepest darkest depths of my heart and wrung its way out of me.
My eyes filled with tears which burned my corneas and my legs wobbled as I inched closer to his bed in fear.
"Jay..."
"Sweetcakes..." that is exactly what he wouldāve said to me if he wasnāt so... cold. If he wasnāt so... dead.
Dead.
That word still sounded surreal. It still felt like it had been coined out from some deep twisted dark place in my nightmares.
My knees crashed against the floor with a loud thump way before I could stop myself and my tears streamed down my face, seeping into my blouse and tearing its way somewhere from deep within my soul to pour out in torrents so high, I could barely contain them.
I vaguely felt someone crouch beside me but I made no attempt to see who it was. Hell, how could I even do that when I couldnāt bring myself to look away from the bed?
From Jarek...
My Jarek.
"Tell me that this is a dream," I cried out, my voice hoarse from all the tightness in my chest. "Tell me that this isnāt Jarek. That he isnāt dead. Tell me that this is some sort of sick joke!"
At my words, the person beside me wrapped his arms around my shaking body and pulled me flush into his chest.
I was met with heat. The kind of comforting heat that I usually liked. But for some reason today, all it did was make me furious. Guilty. Heck, I wanted to be in Jarekās arms not Kaelās.
"Tell me that this is all a lie!" I screamed, my voice thundering through the extremely still room.
At my outburst, the medical professionals quietly slipped out of the room. The one who had been busy tucking his entire body into a plain blue cloth stopped, froze and took a step back away from me.
My body vibrated with tremors that shook me all the way to my bones and heavens, I couldnāt stop my tears from running down my face I could never.
"Leilani..." that was Caelum and something in his voice sounded like he was only a couple of seconds away from bursting into tears himself.
He knelt in front of me, pulled me out of Kaelās arms and hugged me tightly, his shoulders quaking as he gently smoothened my hair over and over again desperately.
"Leilani, please stop crying..."
"Tell me it isnāt true, Caelum..." I whispered into his collar, "...wake me up from this horrible nightmare."

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