Fated To Three Betrayed By All Until She Rose (Leilani) by Ahvahh novel Chapter 447

Chapter 447: Just one touch

Leilani.

If there is something I was never good at, then it is a conversation, especially ones like this.

It was true that I intended to retreat to my room, never to step out again until all of this charade was over. It was also true that I wanted to shut them all out now that it felt like I had been backed into a corner.

However, what wasn’t true was the simplicity in which he’d used when describing the— our kiss.

It was in the way he had called it ’just a kiss.’

Or in his words; "because we’d shared a ’kiss.’"

But it wasn’t that simple. It never was.

To me, it never was just a kiss but was something that seemed to have solidified whatever this thing between us was. It was the kiss that made me finally believe that regardless of the situation, regardless of the things I say to myself, especially the lies... that I will always be drawn to these men. Not just sexually but emotionally too... physically. In fact, whatever ’-ally’ you can think of.

I balled my hands into tight fists as I raised my head to meet his gaze, and with a voice colder than I had intended to sound, I hissed; "I think that’s the dumbest shit I’ve heard in a while."

He froze. More like flared his nose at me then paused his lips, his eyes thinning for a millisecond as he muttered;

"Yeah, sure I am."

I didn’t expect him to say that so to say that I was stunned when I heard those words was an understatement. I frowned.

"If you’re gonna try to hide behind insults and cold words, then I’ll have you know that that is the worst method to use to get rid of me right now. I’ve dealt with a cold you before. I’ve dealt with you when you cannot even stand my presence, so trust me, this isn’t working— whatever this is."

Something about those words made my blood run cold. But it wasn’t out of fear or panic... or maybe there was a hint of fear coursing through my veins at the moment.

But I wasn’t scared of what he might do to me. I wasn’t scared of his reaction or of the words he had just said to me. I was scared of the implications.

Scared that he looked like he had meant his words which meant that I couldn’t send him off no matter how hard I tried.

Something akin to a bile rose in my throat at this thought and I found myself gulping thickly, my voice slightly hoarse as I whispered;

"Zevran, please—"

But he didn’t let me finish. He immediately cut in: "Can’t we just communicate like normal adults?"

I frowned once again.

"Instead of quarreling all the time and pushing each other away when it gets rough, can’t you just talk to me? To us? Can’t you just tell us how you feel? If you were uncomfortable with us having our hands all over you or kissing you, why not say it instead of acting like we have committed a grave crime?"

My eyes brimmed with tears as I heard him speak, and for some reason, my chest had grown so tight, I could barely breathe.

"If you do not enjoy having us being so close, say it and I promise, we will adjust accordingly. I personally will do whatever it takes to keep my friendship with you alive, even if it means that we cannot work out as a couple."

The sincerity in his eyes made my heart stop for a moment. It made heat creep up my face and made me feel some kind of inexplicable guilt that was so strong, I could barely hold his gaze any longer.

And just when I had thought I wouldn’t be able to form words, that everything I thought and felt would go down the drain due to my panic, my lips parted on their own accord and I blurted;

"No."

"No?" He muttered, tilting his head to the side, a look of confusion on his face. "What do you mean by the word no?"

I didn’t want to speak about it. Goddess, I wasn’t sure I could even speak at the moment. But the way he was looking at me... staring at me as if waiting for some miraculous explanation was impossible to ignore so I lowered my gaze and began to stutter; "I... I am not mad at you for touching me. I am not mad at you for kissing me."

"Then what is the matter?" He sounded so tender— too tender it made my heart ache.

"I am mad at myself for letting it happen and more annoyed that I enjoyed it."

But how do I tell him that I suddenly do not want him to leave?

How do I explain to him that I, for some strange reason, feel safe in his presence than in his absence?

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