My Second Marriage with the Mafia Kingpin novel Chapter 289

Chapter 289: If Only She Knew

"Lucian, why do I think you’re rushing... like you’re running out of time?"

"Because I’m dying."

"Really?"

"Haha. What if I am?"

"Don’t die. If you do, I promise you I will ruin Dominion."

Ashley stopped in her tracks as she closed the bedroom door behind her. Her eyes slowly swept toward the bed, almost imagining herself and Lucian there, talking before sleep.

The composed look on her face began to crack as the tears she had been holding back all day finally surfaced. Her vision blurred, but the usual conversations they shared in this room at this hour echoed in her head.

"He... told me," she whispered as a tear finally stained her cheek. "He told me once, but I ignored it."

Lucian had already said he was dying in passing, but she ignored it. If only she hadn’t, they could’ve probably prevented this. If only she hadn’t taken it as a joke, they could’ve done more.

But no.

Just like how she ignored the signs today, she ignored all of that. And because she did, Lucian had to suffer alone. He had to keep up a front while he was dying inside.

Yet, she had no idea.

She smiled, laughed, and acted like everything was okay when it wasn’t.

"I’m sorry," came her shaky voice as she slumped onto the floor, a hand clamped over her mouth while tears fell endlessly. "I should be the one apologizing, not you."

Ashley was not angry with either Gustav or Lukas.

If anything, she was on their side this time.

It was her fault.

If only Lucian had someone who would notice, who cared more, someone more mindful. If only Lucian hadn’t had an oblivious and naive wife by his side, he wouldn’t have suffered all alone.

But because it was her, Lucian had to worry about another person.

So how could she cry for everyone to see? How could she dare act like she deserved sympathy when she didn’t? The least she could do was shield Primo because she had already failed at being Lucian’s wife.

Ashley clasped her chest as she muffled her sniffles, trying to stop her tears from falling. But it...

"... hurts," she whispered, gasping.

Her heart was not only heavy, but it also hurt. It felt like someone was stabbing it with a sharp knife. She could barely breathe properly.

If death had a feeling, perhaps this was it.

Because she felt like she was dying inside: dying from guilt, regret, and fear. She couldn’t even tell anymore.

All the things she had done in her previous life to hurt Lucian came back ten times harder and more painful.

And if there was one person she hated most in this room, it was herself.

She hated herself for everything, and today, she hated herself ten times more.

"Why did it have to be me?" she whispered. "You could’ve given this chance to him."

Instead of her, she wished Lucian had been the one to go back in time and correct things. If it were him, she knew he wouldn’t have been as careless and reckless as she was.

She knew he would make better decisions.

He would choose someone else whom he could trust. Someone who would never hurt him, and someone Dominion would accept with open arms.

If only Lucian had been the one given the chance granted to her, he would be in a better place.

Ashley preferred that... even if it meant Primo and Lucian would not be part of her life. Even if it meant she would not be part of theirs.

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