Chapter 445
I’m trapped in the dream, but some part of me recognizes when Robin pulls me into his arms, talking in my ear, trying to pull me out of the dream. When that doesn’t work, Derric growls loudly, shocking me out of the nightmare.
When I become consciously aware that I’m in Robin’s arms, I cling to him, sobbing with my fear of losing him. I can feel him in my mind, seeing the nightmare, feeling my emotions, and realizing that my nightmare was about losing him.
“I’m right here. I’m not so easy to kill. I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here,” he says.
I nod, letting him hold me while the fear and the remnants of the nightmare fade away.
“Did you feel it, too, the pain?” I whisper.
“Yes. I thought… I thought maybe he got to you again.”
I nod, holding him tighter. “You died. That was how my body reacted to you dying in the dream.”
“I’m right here.”
I nod again, letting the tears flow. I know what this is. Mentally, I know this is my mind dealing with the trauma of what happened, but that doesn’t make it any easier to trudge through the horror of it every
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-time I go to sleep. I can focus on other things when I’m awake, while shutting it out and pushing it away. But when I’m asleep, my brain brings my fears to the surface. And losing my mate and son are the most horrible things that could happen to me and almost did.
When I finally get control of my emotions, I pull back. “Sorry.”
“Don’t. Don’t apologize because you’re still suffering from that animal. He will die because of what he did to you, but he will die more slowly because of how you continue to suffer and because he tried to take my son,” he growls.
“Would you be upset if I said I never want to see him again and I’ll happily let you kill him?” I ask.
“I’d rather you weren’t there, honestly. He doesn’t deserve to see you again. And for what I intend to do to him…well, I wouldn’t want you to ever think less of me, so maybe it’s better if you aren’t there.”
“I could never think less of you, Robin. I love you,” I tell him, snuggling against him again just as we hear Rory moving around.
I sigh but get out of Robin’s lap. I go get my son, then just as I’m about to sit down in the rocking chair, Robin scoops me up and fucks me against him as he sits so he can hold both of us while I nurse.
“I wasn’t done holding you yet, and this feels awfully perfect,” he says, leaning his head against mine as we watch Rory. He reaches around me, and Rory grabs hold of his finger. This time when Rory finishes and Robin goes to change him, I take the pump that I sterilized earlier and after a few minutes of figuring it out, I begin pumping what’s left of my milk. I end up with more than I expected which makes me happy
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that Robin may actually be able to start feeding Rory enough for one feeding.
“We’ll need a refrigerator and microwave up here, so we don’t have to go downstairs in the middle of the night.”
“I ordered them earlier,” Robin says, making me smile.
“Of course you did.”
“How’s Adira?” he asks.
“I’m feeling stronger. She hasn’t spoken to me yet, but I can feel her getting stronger, especially when we’re with you,” I tell him.
“Come on then, let’s lie down. You didn’t exactly get good sleep during your nap. Then we can go have dinner with the pack.”
“I feel like all I do is eat, sleep, and nurse our son,” I say, chuckling as I strip off my clothes. If I’m going to lie with my mate, I want it to be skin on skin.
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