Why did she " Divorce Me " novel Chapter 52

Varun's Pov.:-

After turning my back to my happiness ... I came in my new house's garden area ..

Yes new house .. I has buy this house because my old house always haunts me .. so .. I buied this house .

I pulled out the sponge ball from my pants pocket.. and squeezed it with high intakes of breath.. it helps me not to break in tears .. not to show that I am breaking from inside... Why only because I am scared of myself ...

Suddenly someone hugged me tightly from my back .. I touched her soft hands which were over my chest resting..

She came infront of me and stood high on her toes to reach my hight my she is short .. and here she huffed at her fail attempts ..

I too moved high to not to let her hands reach to my face ... But she started to punched my chest ... In this whole process  no one said anything .. only mine laughing sound when her winching sound is filling silent garden area ..

She is continuously hitting me on my chest with her little fist .. and after it she suddenly hugged me started to weep ..

" Why are you again hurting me Varun.. can't you see I want you in my life .. I want you to be my life partner .. I want to live with you my when life happily... Getting old together ...

Can't you see I have forgiven you .. please Varun don't leave me , I can't live my life without you " she plead to me .. her every flowing tears down her cheeks making me to make her mine .. but I can't ..

" I can't Amoli you deserves someone who is sane and human .. not me .. who is monster in human body and trust me who will fall for your husband soon after your marriage .. " I said to her .. still hugging her in my arms .

She looked up at me with anger filled eyes ..

" Why ..  Varun what have I done wrong to you .. huh ... First you mistreat me in our marriage , you hurt me , hit me ... And then .. you yourself healed me now you are saying me to leave you.. and love someone else ...

I have only one heart Varun .. which is filled in love only for you .. I love you Varun  .. I love you .. " she confessed her feelings to me .. and this is what I am afraid of ..

" Sorry Amoli .. I can't " I said pushing her back from our hug ..

" .. why you can't ... Don't tell me Varun .. *sob* you played with my emotions to break me more *hiccup*.. only because ... *hiccup*.. Because your family hates you because of me ... *Sob* .. *hiccup* .. is it your way to take revenge from me .. *sob* " She voiced out her thoughts ... While breaking in more tears infront of me ...

I didn't said anything . .. I want to wipe her tears and love her my whole life ... .. She continued to cry and fall on ground while resting her body over her knees .. seeing breaking like that .. my heart pained more ..

' I can't see her like this ' I said to myself and carried her body in bridal style .. but she still didn't stop her tears ..

Soon we reached my bedroom I placed her on bed .. and sit beside her ..

" Amoli .. I love you alot .. but I can't stay with you .. because I think ... I will make our daughter Quasar like me ... You know what when my mom had left me alone in my family members care .. my father used to took care of me .. he always looked at my every need .. but you know ... We all have our life and problem in them also ...

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On that day I was missing mom alot .. I wanted to be with her .. as I was scared due to nightmare .. but she was not with me .. so I went to my dad .. who was busy in his online meeting ..

Flashback:- author's Pov.:-

( 5year old Varun )

" Dada .. I want to sleep with you " said 5 year old chubby cute boy to his father while standing at room entrance door .

His father didn't replied him so , he came inside his father's office room ... Without knocking ..

On the other hand his father who was busy in online meeting with state minister .. Varun came to his father whose eyes glued in laptop screen ..

He pulled his father's pant and said " dada .... Varun wants to sleep but there in room .. there is ghost under my bed .. I am scared dada " ...

His father who was talking to state minster .. looked at him with annoyed face and state minister also taunt " first babysit your son then we will talk about how worthy you are to deserve that land " .. saying this minister disconnect the call ...

Varun's father who was already hell anger and frustrated on minister as he was continuously denying to him ...

Actually minister and Varun's father both wants the same land ... And Varun's father had already brought that land .. but minister is showing his political power and saying that ... The land which Varun's father has brought is government land .. means government property , because Varun's father has literally hurt the minister's ego ... By successfully buying that land kicking minister's every evil plot ...

So now he is doing this ... To snatch the land away from Varun's father ....

Mr. Arora has brought that land for his wife ... To build hospital on her name .. after completing her studies ..

" What all this Varun .. can't you see I am busy ... Then why did you came inside my office room .. " Mr. Arora shout on his son ...

Varun trembled in fear .. he took step backwards to go away from his angry father ...

" Will you open your mouth and tell me why you came here " again Mr. Arora shout on his son .. unknowingly he is realising his anger on this pure innocent soul ...

" Dada ... There is a ghost inside my room.. that's why I .. " Varun said in low voice when wiping his tears away from the back of his hands but Mr. Arora won't let him complete his words ..

He hold him by his forearm and literally dragged his body with his fast steps ..

They came inside Varun's bedroom ..

" Where is ghost ... Where it is .." said Mr. Arora looking at every corner of room ... While still dragging crying Varun with him ..

" you .. stop being a child Varun and grow up .. stop giving me headache with your this behaviour ...

Can't you see Varun .. your this childish behaviour becoming burden over my shoulders ...

I am joining my hands infront of you .. there is no ghost so stop being mama's little cry baby .. be a man .. not an unwanted burden over my head " Mr. Arora's more ungrateful words stopped by a tight slap ..

Mr. Arora looked at the source of slap to see his father is standing infront of him .. with his mother ...

After getting a slap he came back to his sane self .. now he is feeling hurt to himself that he said all those things in anger to his son which he shouldn't

He is sorry for his mistake and want to repay it ... But it's already too late .. because now his each and every hurtful words has already stabbed Varun's innocent heart to make it bleed .. and at last made it dead... To feel anything ..

As Varun's also from Arora ... His veins also have angry blood in them ... And for his own self-respect .. he has made up his mind that he won't look back at his father .. not to this family became ... He is burden on them ..

" Pallavi take Varun with you " said Devansh Arora .. grandfather of Varun and father of Gyan Arora .

" No I am not going anywhere .. now I will leave this house ... I don't want to live with any of you .. I will not .. never came back here .. I will run away from this house ... I hate you .. I hate you all " shout Varun in his grandmother's embrace who also have tears in her eyes .. 

" I am sorry.. Varun .. my child look dada .. is sorry baby .. come to dada.. please my child .. " Gyan Arora plead to his son when kneeling infront of him to match his hight ..

But Varun being an angry child .. he didn't looked back at his father ..

" Grandpa .. I don't want to live here .. please .. " Varun said to his grandpa but his grandpa said " my child see your father is sorry forgive him .. and it's your house son .. "

" No ... " Varun shout and ran out to reach kitchen .. he hold the knife in his hand and rest it's sharp side over his neck ....

" I will hurt myself if you won't let me go away from there " said Varun in his angry voice ... While inside he wants his mother's embrace and cry .. and complaint about his father's deeds to his mother .. bust she is not here it's his bad luck .

Whole family members gasped in terror ..

" Okay okay .. we will obey you .. " said his grandpa ..

" No ... Swear over grandma .. that you will let me go away from this house .. " Varun said knowing that his grandpa always swears on his grandma if he made promises then it won't be broken ...

Devansh Arora looked at his grandchild in surprise ...

" Okay okay ... I Devansh Arora will let you go away from this house it's a swear of my wife " said Devansh Varun's grandpa ...

" Okay .. then let me go " Varun said placing knife over Iceland and ran out from the house .. but his father hold him in his arms ...

" Let me go " Varun winched ...

" No .. you are small to live your life alone like that Varun .. " said Varun's father ..

And Varun behaved stubbornly .. giving hard time to his father and grandparents .

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At last they made decision to admit Varun in boarding school .. because they can't leave him alone in different house because .. if Varun's mother got to know about all this .. she will eat whole family alive for hurting her son ..

Varun .... Left house without meeting anyone .. as he was still angry on his father but everyone is facing his anger ...

End of flashback.

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" See Amoli .. my father who is known for his calm nature ... He even faced hard time being a father ... Now how I will be a good father .. I am scared .. because I don't want my daughter to become me

What if I also shout on her .. as you know .. I have high temper  " I said her my thoughts ..

I looked at her .. she is crying while putting her hand over her mouth ...

" You were so small on that time.. Varun if you are scared for this that you won't be a good father to Quasar than you are wrong because you are a real father material ..

And about me .. I am... Also here to help you ... " She said while Hugging me .. but I am still insecure ...

" Are you still angry to your dad ? " She asked me ..

" No I am not .. not anymore " I said ...

" Why ? " She asked ...

" Because .. as know you also know .. how I went in boarding school . .. in that all which was at fault was .. my bad-temper ..not my father . ... Because when he realised his mistake he apologized to me right away but .. I being stubborn kicked his attempts ... And ruined my life with my own hands . " I said her ...

" Why didn't you tell this to your mother ? " She asked me ...

" What .. if I tell my mother this .. then she will my whole family .. means my grandparents and my father ... You don't know my mother .. she is all polite nature lady but she too have a bad temper .. " I said her ...

" So .. you literally saved your family from your mother " she voice out her thoughts ..

" No .. not this .. I saved my own self .... Because in all that .. I was the one who is at fault .. because my mother she always tried to be with me .. but she couldn't .. and  she trust other family members with me .. if told her this .. then her trust will be broken and in future she won't trust any one in our family ...

I just saved her trust and .. my family from breaking . ... " I said ...

" but still Don't you think you should tell this to your mother ? " She asked me ..

" What is there to tell her .. will I get my childhood back to make it happy childhood .. no .. reather to that .. what will happen .. my mother feel guilty to choose her dreams and trusting her husband and in-laws ...  She will fight with them .. and at the end ..  the whole happy moment will be ruined

I am okay with the things which are right now stable i don't want them to be ruined by my exposure .." I said ...

And then we both sit silently ...

" Now you are mature .. " she said breaking the silence and kissed my forehead .

" Only because of you " I said with love in my eyes to her ...