My Secret, My Bully, My Mates (skylar) by Miss l Free novel Chapter 55

Chapter 0055
Skylar
Choruses of 'Sky,' 'Skylar,' and my various nicknames are being shouted behind me, but they don't follow.

I don't know if they are respecting what I want or if Sierra is keeping them back, but I just need to walk away and cool off.

I walk into my back door and through the kitchen straight to my room. I glance at the clock as I go to the bathroom. It's after midnight, so at least the fight happened after my birthday, technically. I flip on the light and notice I look ridiculous in the mirror.

All my make-up is gone, but streaks of black remain under my eyes from my crying fit earlier, my ponytail is loose and drooping to one side as the ends are still wrapped around my neck like a noose.

My shirt and jeans are a darker color and plastered to my body and dripping from the pool.

I quickly take everything off, dump my clothes in a pile to deal with later, my new jewelry is in a pile on the counter and jump into the shower, feeling really cold all of a sudden.

I let the water get as hot as possible and once I have scrubbed my body until all of the skin is bright red I just let the steam enter my lungs and soothe my muscles and I cry.

I just let out everything I have left. I will lose them, just like I knew I would.

They will hate me for being weakand letting all of this go on for so long.

For lying to them about the whole situation and then yelling at them.

I haven't been able to find a way to make the bullying stop and any one who has tried to help by going through the right channels, to the 'right people have been removed from the school.

Either they transferred or they were suspended and not seen or heard from for weeks and when they come back, they are a completely different person treating me like the problem.

It hurts and it sucks, it's why I stopped trying to befriend people in the first place.

But the only place I allow myself to feel the pity is here in the shower.

No one will ever know that they got to me, but I'm not sure how much more I can take and all alone again.

That hurts the most. It only took months, months for those guys to get close to me.

To break down my emotional walls, the connections wrapping a tight web around my heart and tangle to a point where it might kill me to remove it.

I have to let them go though.

I do not want to tell this story and it will drive its wedge, secrets always do, and they will walk away from me like every other person who has tried to help. And, I won't make Sierra choose.

She is just as close to them as I arn_ It is easier for me to walk away, I have been doing it forever.

I am just one person, easily replaced.

I climb out of the, now cold, stream of water, towel off and head to my room to find something to sleep in.

Once I layin bed, I just stare at the ceiling for hours.

I can't sleep going over the whole fight in my head.

How mad at me they all were, the look of disgust at the marks on me, the imperfections.