Leilani.
It’s been a week since Keisha’s death and a week since I stopped looking over my shoulder whenever I was alone in lonely places.
The days were getting slower and quieter, and these days, I couldn’t help but feel more and more relaxed. I leaned against my chair while I listened to members of the board going on and on about an ongoing project with the Valemonts— not Darius’s Valemont but the other one.
The setting vaguely reminded me of Jarek. Of how he would sit silently and keep me by his right hand side, listening to the team bickering over what technology is best for whatever we were working on at the time.
I squeezed my eyes shut when that memory made a feeling of nostalgia creep up on me, but just as I was about to shake it off, a voice suddenly asked; "Ma’am, what do you think?"
I froze, gulped and turned just in time to see Amanda staring at me with a soft small smile and a raised eyebrow. These days, I usually get the feeling that she wants us to be friends, but after that whole debacle with Yvette, the debacle that still hasn’t been sorted out yet, I wasn’t sure I wanted an office buddy anymore.
I sighed. "I think it is great but I also think that I would need time to go over it one more time and check for inconsistencies as well as places that may need to be revised."
"That’s exactly what I suspected you would say, ma’am! You always revise our works, you genius!" Adam, a member of the team, chirped in enthusiastically, causing everyone to chuckle amongst themselves.
I smiled too but it didn’t quite reach my eyes and was just about to add to that when someone else cut in, interrupting me. He asked; "You have been putting off your inauguration ceremony since you took up the position as CEO. Is there any chance that you would—"
"No," I answered quickly— a little too quickly. "I didn’t become CEO because I worked for it. I became CEO because the late CEO asked for it shortly before his death..." my voice trailed off when an image of Jarek flashed in my mind, and just as that happened, tears burned at the corners of my eyes but I blinked them away.
I continued; "I do not plan to celebrate it. I do not wish to hold a part. And I wouldn’t until my Jay’s will is read and until we all get to know who his real appointed CEO is. Until then..."
"No inauguration," Amanda muttered and I nodded.
Without another word, I subtly glanced at my wristwatch, took another glance at the large screen behind me and then turned to everyone. "I see we have come to a temporary conclusion for now..." I drawled, my gaze fixated on the technological jargon on the screen— one which I was already beginning to sight errors in— and then I continued;
"...and like I said, I would like to go through it one more time before we decide whether to go through with it or not. So for now, I’ll have to take my leave. I have a meeting with Valemont in ten minutes, and I need to prepare for that."
"Okay ma’am!" They echoed in unison and with that, I rose to my feet.
I walked out of the room without looking back and didn’t stop until I stepped into my new office, sunk into my chair and let out the longest sigh known to man.
My chest was heavy for no real reason, and sitting here, on this chair that was once Jarek’s made me feel even worse. Usually, people would say that the longer we stay without the presence of someone important in our lives, the easier it would be for us to forget them.
But in my case, it wasn’t so.
I thought about him everyday. I dreamt and wished he would *surprise me* everyday.
I lifted my head when the distinct smell of coffee hit my nostrils and was not surprised when I saw Amanda standing a few feet away from the table with her hands clutched behind her back and her head bowed slightly. She muttered;
"I got you some coffee to keep your spirit alive for the meeting you have in a couple of minutes."

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