Chapter 89
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Her bed is stripped bare, and the smell of bleach in here is almost unbearable. This isn’t the bed she would let me sneak into to sleep with her, or build forts over, or hold me as I cried anymore. This was the place she died. I turn around this closet is the place she died next to. I angrily start pouring the gas all over the clothes in her closet, then move to her bed, working my way out of her room pouring the gas all over the floor and through the hall.
I stop at my room and open the door. It smells almost right, still mixed with the bleach smell from the hall. I walk over and slowly move my hand across the foot of my bed. I sit down and just think about my life for a minute. I couldn’t even count how many times I cried myself to sleep in this room. I didn’t have a wolf and my life was make miserable because of it. I tried my best to not let everything bother me, maybe I let my mom off too easily, I should have pushed my questions harder. Until she was forced to tell me everything I should have been told. I hate that I’m mad at my mom, I hate that she can’t defend herself against my anger. It’s hard to miss her and be mad at her at the same time, but I do. I miss her with every fiber of my being, but I’m also just so
mad.
I stand up and start throwing the gas everywhere again. This room can’t be my room if she can’t peak her head in and check on me while I sleep, can’t help me with my hair, or teach me to use make-up.
I walk out of my room and start pouring gas down the stairs, moving to the kitchen, where I grab a lighter from the drawer and finish splattering gas all over the living room. I throw the gas tank down and walk outside my house leaving the door open. I turn around and look inside. This is it; I can’t take it back after it’s done.
I put the calendar in my pocket and flick the lighter and watch it burn in front of me, when I feel a hand wrap around the hand not holding the lighter. I look up and see Liam looking down at me. He doesn’t look like he plans on stopping me. Then he grabs my hand with the lighter and takes it from me. Before I can protest, he throws the lighter into the house and picks me up, moving me away from the house. We stand on the sidewalk, watching the house slowing go up in flames.
I feel relieved. This house was taunting me daily. No matter how much I tried not to look at it, I could still feel it there. Weighing on me. Making fun of the life I once had. Now, when I look, all I’ll see is a pile of ash.
Liam looks at me and I reach in my pocket and hand him the calendar. He looks at it, studying it, trying to understand. I see the moment he does as he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, taking the calendar walking back up to the house and throwing it in the fire. He walks back and we both turn our gazes back to the house.
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