Chapter 299
I give it a moment before I speak, I’m here to tell my business, not hers, but I’ve been so worried about her ever since she kissed Rowan four times. I’ve even kept her at the house so I can keep an eye on her, and I did talk to Danielle about paying more attention to Rowan, but she said to focus on my marriage. “She’s getting herself into something she shouldn’t, and I don’t want her to get hurt.”
“Are you close with Noah?”
“Yes,” I nod. “Very much so, we’re bonded till the grave.”
Doctor Eleanor nods, “Interesting…”
I frown, “What?”
“I haven’t heard you speak that way about anyone else aside from your husband.”
“Oh. Well, enough about them,” I swallow, shifting in my seat. “This is about me, right? Lets fix me.”
“You don’t need fixing, Aeliana.” She says, flipping her tablet upside down. “You just need a little help to work through some emotions. You’re not broken.”
“I feel like I am,” I confess, because if I wasn’t, then why would I need her? Why would I need three appointments a week?
“What makes you feel that way?”
I shrug, “Everything I’ve been through? You know, sometimes I feel…”
“Go on, name your emotions.” She urges, her tone soft so she’s not pushing, she’s just waiting. “This is a safe space,” she says.
“I know,” I nod. I previously lied in my session hoping to see if she’d get that to Kingston, but she didn’t, so this is indeed a safe trust space. “I just feel like Kingston might wake up one day and decide he doesn’t want me anymore.” My gaze falls to my lap, a weight slowly lifting off my shoulders as I speak. “He might realise he deserves better, and he’ll be gone, and I will be left alone again. It scares me,” I swallow, my stomach twisting with a familiar anguish. “I try not to think about it because he says he’s got me forever, but if he knew everything about me-”
“Everything?” She interrupts.
“Yeah,” I blink back the tears. “He might leave me when he sees how dirty and broken I am-sorry, just because you said I am not broken doesn’t change the reality doctor, Eleanor.”
“You talk about Kingston a lot.”
I shrug, what else would I talk about? There’s nothing that I love more than him, he’s the centre of my little fucked up universe. “I love him.”
“A little too much?”
“What?” I frown.
“You speak about him like he’s the only thing you’ve got to live for,” she explains. “There is nothing wrong with that, but I worry you’re overly dependent on him.”
Overly dependent? “He’s my mate,” I snap. I’m supposed to be dependent on him, we’re supposed to be dependent on each other, it’s the order of things, it’s second nature.
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