With that said, Matthew turned around and left.
Over the next few days, Clarissa was still in a daze. The sudden change felt surreal to her until she realized the differences. Since then, no one ordered food delivery to her doorstep. The man no longer showed up unexpectedly in front of her house or pestered her unceasingly. Only then did it struck her that everything was over indeed.
“Clarissa?”
Beside the woman, Justin called out to her as she stared into space.
His voice broke Clarissa out of her trance. Embarrassed, she gave him a half-smile.
Rubbing the bridge of her nose, she stood up and said apologetically, “I’m sorry, director. I need to go to the restroom.”
Justin nodded in acknowledgment, and she walked out of the production room to freshen up.
After pulling herself together, she came back and saw Justin puffing away at a cigarette outside the production room.
“Director, I’m sorry about…”
Justin gave her a reassuring smile. “It’s okay. I can tell that you’re not your usual self these days. Did you fight with Matt?”
Pressing her lips together, Clarissa shook her head. Her expression fell right away.
“We broke up.”
In disbelief, Justin raised his brows at her words.
She gave him a firm nod. “It’s true. I haven’t seen him for some time. I’ll go back to my hometown when everything in D City is settled.”
Justin could not believe his ears.
After a moment of silence, he said, “Maybe it’s not such a bad thing.”
Clarissa gave him a rueful smile upon hearing that. The two then sauntered to the other side and took a seat.
“Actually, Matt really likes you. Is there a misunderstanding between you and him?”
“No, it’s not because of that. I’ve already found out what happened previously.”
“Why did you still break up with him then?”
The woman fell silent at his question.
“It’s alright if you’re not comfortable talking about it.”
“No.” Pausing briefly, she continued, “I just feel that he and I are worlds apart. To be honest, I’m really afraid of losing the person I love. If I know that it’s not going to work out between us, I’d rather let it go. I’m so sick of being dumped. As the saying goes, ‘once bitten, twice shy.’ I never want to go through the same feeling again, so it’s better not to get into a relationship if there’s a risk of getting my heart broken again. You might find it hard to understand, but that’s one thing I can’t get over with.”
Losing more than what she could bear had somehow impacted her personality in ways which no one else could see.
Whenever she got into a similar situation, her trauma would always get the better of her, and she would dread being abandoned again.
Other than herself, no one else could be in her shoes. Even if she opened up and poured her heart out, others would only advise her to be courageous or overcome her fear. Peoples never really knew how it was like until the same thing happened to them. Their advice was merely words that didn’t help.
“That’s not the only problem between him and me. It’s important to have a matching social status as well. Otherwise, the previous incident wouldn’t have happened. Besides, I take many practical factors into consideration, like our future, marriage, and compatibility. How many of us get married solely out of love? Most people put compatibility and practicality first. And I’m just an ordinary person like them.”
“If so, shouldn’t you choose Matt? He’s a wealthy and eligible bachelor.”
Clarissa smiled. “There’ll be no turning back once I get into a wealthy family.”
“So you’re actually a very rational woman.”
She shook her head. I’m not sensible enough, or else I wouldn’t be as disheartened as I am now.
Deep down, she knew that it would be difficult to find a man who could live with her according to the way she wanted.
Besides, she doubted that she would ever fall for anyone else after being with a man like Matthew.
But she didn’t share these thoughts with Justin.
Hearing her words, the man gave it some thought before he replied, “Can I conclude that you find no sense of security when you’re with Matt?”
Clarissa froze for a second, then let out a laugh. “Yeah, I guess so. I feel insecure, and he can’t give me the sense of security which I need.”
The conclusion sounded simple, but her mindset was as complicated as it could be.
“Alright, let’s drop the subject. Shall we get back to work?”
Later on, Justin sent out a recording of their conversation after Clarissa left.
A few minutes later, his phone rang.
A grin appeared on Justin’s face as he said, “Matt, I already did what I could to help. Listen to the recording and think of ways to make Clarissa feel secured.”
In a deep voice, Matthew replied, “I’ve nothing to do with her anymore.”
“Tsk! Ignore what I said then. Just delete the recording. Don’t even bother listening to it.”
Matthew remained quiet.
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