The Big Sky Alpha novel Chapter 117

117. Better together

COLT POV

+25 Points

I hate this. I hate that my wife has already had to go through this. I hate thinking about the things. that’s happened to my wife happening to my daughter. Even more, I hate the idea of her going through these things without us.

Freya said that the goddess told her that we’re not the only ones that can be sacrificed to break the moon curse for the vamps, which is nice but she also said we’re the most known. What if we don’t make it long enough to be able to teach her these things? What if we’re not around to help

her and her brother be so close that they work together on what they have to face when they’re

older?

The amount of what ifs coming to mind is breaking my heart. I love my children, I love my wife, and I love my pack. Thinking that I might not be able to ensure the futures of any of them is painful.

After Freya left I just sat here, holding my little girl. Rocking with her and thinking was almost just as bad as sitting alone in my office, maybe even worse because I’m just staring at her beautiful

face and picturing her having to live through what I’ve watched Freya live through.

I’m not sure how much time passed, but Harland walked in.

“Can I join you?” He asked, making sure to speak enough so I can hear but quiet enough to not

wake the kids.

I nodded to him.

He sat there and rocked a minute before he spoke, Freya is a very strong woman. I’ve known that

since the moment I first held her in my arms.” I looked over and he was smiling looking at Hunter in

his crib. “I always knew she was special, even though I didn’t have the goddess telling me about it.

She just always had this fire about her. I knew she wouldn’t be alpha of my pack, but I knew she’d

do wonderful things.”

I nodded, looked back to Kira and said, “Freya is a very strong woman.”

I’m not sure why he was telling me this.

As if he read my mind he said, “My point is, Kira has the same fire about her. Kira is her daughter, she is your daughter. Kira is going to be powerful when she grows up. You’re both going to be here with her to teach her the things she needs to know and all any of us can do is make sure she’s ready.” He lightly put his hand on my arm to get my attention.

“If I was told that my daughter was going to have to do any of the things she’s had to do as a Luna when she was just a baby I’m sure I would have driven myself mad trying to make sure she was ready. In fact, she’d probably hate me. You can’t do that. You can not do that Colt. You have to

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117 Better together

remember that.” He said, then he smiled at me and went to stand to leave.

+25 Points

“What do I do?” I asked him, he sat back in the chair “I am in a place, mentally, where I don’t feel

like I can protect my wife, my children, or my pack. feel very defeated.” I’m not sure why, but I feel

comfortable talking with Harland about these things. Maybe it’s because I don’t have my own dad

to talk with about it all.

“Just remember it’s not just you.” He said, I looked over at him confused. “You’re not just Colt

anymore, you’re also Colt and Freya. The goddess paired you for a reason, you are stronger

together than you are apart and that is how it will always be. The sooner you both figure that out the sooner you both can feel confident that you’re protecting everyone.”

“What if she dies again Harland? I can’t handle that, and I don’t want to ever put the kids through that. They need her.” I said to him, I mean it. I can’t lose her again. I remember that pain, I

remember what that was like. I couldn’t have ever continued to live like that. I will forever owe the

goddess for bringing her back to me, but I don’t think I can continue putting Freya in dangerous situations and not being worried about that happening again.

“I can’t answer that son. All I know is that the goddess put you together for a reason. She brought

Freya back to you when she died, for a reason. She told Freya about Kira needing to learn her abilities for a reason. There’s reasons for it all. We have to have faith and we have to prepare for

what we can prepare for.” He answered me. “She’s my daughter Colt. My first baby, the one that

made me a dad. I know that it’s different when you lose a mate. Physically, you’re ripped apart on

the inside in a way I pray I never find out. But, parents are not meant to watch their children die. I

worry about her constantly. I don’t know how to explain to you how f*****g painful that was as a

father, just like you’ll never be able to explain to me how it was for you as a fated mate.”

I guess I never thought of that night the way he just described it to me. I never thought of the fact

that they also watched their daughter die that night. They lived the fear I am worrying about now.

He left shortly after that and I put Kira to bed after just a little longer of holding her. I went to our room to find Freya, but I wasn’t in luck. I turned to leave and headed to the stairs, thinking maybe

I’d find her in her in the kitchen. Instead, I found her in my office with books sprawled out all over

the floor.

I stood there watching her for a minute. Such beauty. She’s so smart, she’s determined, she’s crazy,

she’s funny, and she’s mine. I can’t imagine this life without her. I never want to live without her

another minute of my life. But, I know that I need to let us do things together if we’re going to get our children ready for their lives ahead.

“What are you doing my amazing mate?” I asked as stepped into he office and stood right on the

edge of her chaotic mess of books.

“Research. He’s still a bear. We’re missing something. I know there has to be more in here about

these species. She said there’s several different ones.” She set the book in her hands down and

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looked up at me, her curly red hair bouncing around in a messy bun.

+25 Points

“What if that bear isn’t the only one around here? What if this isn’t some isolated attack on us?

What if….” I stopped her.

“What if the sky falls? What if the earth tears apart down the middle and swallows us all up whole?

“I squatted down in front of her, “Baby I just spent, goddess knows how long, sitting there holding

Kira thinking about all the what ifs that I could possibly think about. It’s not going to solve anything.

She just looked at me, a twinkle in her lovely green eyes, “I just keep getting this weird feeling like something is off. I don’t know what, I don’t know why, and with Eunice not having any visions to

support my bad feelings, I don’t know what else to do about it.”

The defeat we’re both feeling isn’t helping us get anywhere. Then I remembered what her dad said, what the goddess has been telling us.

“We’re better together baby.” I held her hand and pulled her up. I started pulling her toward the door to the office, “We need to remember that as we continue our journey together. We keep being

told that, and though we want to believe it in the moment we never allow ourselves to actually be

better together. I think we just need to have faith in each other and just do it all together.”