The Big Sky Alpha novel Chapter 137

137. The what now?

FREYA POV

I am not a weak woman. However, had this happened to me before I became a part of Big Sky this would have probably broken me.

Last night I had my meltdown. I scrubbed my body raw to the point that I began to bleed, I cried, and I allowed myself to feel self–pity. I asked Colt to just hold me through the night, which he did.

There’s something to this mate bond. I had nightmares, but I slept. I woke up feeling like me again. I woke up feeling almost like nothing happened. I truly believe that if it wasn’t for Colt just holding

me through the night, I would still be a bit of a broken mess.

Not that I wouldn’t deserve to be a broken mess after having that man almost get the chance to

rape me. But I am not just some woman anymore.

I am Freya Bennett, wife of Colt Bennett, and Luna of the Big Sky Pack.

I will not allow an image of a weak woman to take over me. I will not allow that pig the gratification of my suffrage a single moment longer. Colt said that he was dead. I have no reason to believe

that he wouldn’t have killed him, I have no reason to blame him for doing it. The man cannot see or

hurt me anymore, but there’s an awfully big part of me that absolutely needs to come out of this

stronger.

I went into the bathroom and looked at the beautiful dress that I will be wearing for the wedding.

Before last night, I was thinking this dress was incredible. Today, I’m feeling a little self–conscious

about how revealing it is.

It’s a long sleek pale pink gown, sparkling diamonds across the sweetheart strapless top, it drops down to the hips leaving the back fully exposed just above the crack of my a*s. It goes down to my feet, not showing the strappy white heels that I’m wearing. Well, unless I walk, then you can see my entire leg all the way up to my hip.

I’ve decided the best thing I can do is wear my hair down. I plopped some goop in my hair and

styled it down. Carefully making sure that all those crazy stray baby hairs are tucked down into the rest of my hair. I haven’t worn this type of chemical in my hair in quite some time. I’ve actually grown quite fond of how my hair is when it’s in its natural glory.

I plastered make up on my face and checked myself out in the mirror. Even make up is weird on my

skin. I’ve gotten so used to my natural look. I wear war paint, which is a lot like make up, but it’s not

meant to make me look different than I look. I barely recognized the woman in the mirror.

Initially, I thought that this would make me more self–conscious as I walk into the room with

everyone. However, not looking anything like me was probably the way to go in order to get through this wedding. When we’re done, I’m heading straight to our room and showering all of this

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137 The what now?

off. I will be getting into my normal clothes and going back to my home.

+25 Points

Until then, I will walk around and pretend that I am a woman I’m not in order to please this pack. There’s nothing wrong with Damon’s pack. Jocelyn’s a great girl. They’re just not my people. They’re just not my pack.

Frankly, even my parent’s pack members don’t feel like my people anymore and I grew up with them. It’s funny how fast something like this happens to a person when they start changing.

Colt eyed me like a precious slice of cake. He looked at me like he just wanted to lick every inch of my body but restrained himself. I could sense how hard that was for him. It’s not normal for me to

look like this.

“Wow Freya.” He said, almost having to wipe the drool from his mouth.

“So? Do I look okay?” I asked fishing to just hear him say it.

“You look incredible, my love.” He answered. He walked over and placed his arm around my waist.

“I feel uncomfortable. I don’t like dressing like this anymore.” I told him honestly.

I think he was surprised by this statement. I know he has a hard time understanding that I don’t crave city life anymore, but I guess I’m just surprised that he’s surprised by this.

His facial features appeared to relax a little as a small smile met his eyes, “Soon you can take it all off and we can go home.”

I leaned up to him and kissed him.

As we walked into the ceremony area, I could feel the stares. I know everyone was aware of what happened to me last night. For a split second I was worried greatly that I would cave and have a

meltdown.

Then, Colt took his arm that was wrapped in mine and wrapped it around my hip. Something about having him touching me even more made me feel whole, made me feel confident and washed

away the horrible memory of the night before.

I stood up tall and walked with a kick in my stride like I usually do. I still felt the stares, they just

didn’t bother me as much now.

“Colt! My friend, thank you for coming! We need to discuss your best man speech bro!” Damon

yelled as we were walking up to him.

Colt stiffened a little at the mention of the speech, The what now?”

Damon laughed, “Oh bro, it’s tradition that the best man makes a speech after the ceremony at the dinner.” He smacked Colt on the back, “Please tell me you can do that.”

Colt looked over at me, I smiled back at him. I knew this was part of the tradition, I didn’t mention it

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to him because I figured he knew these things.

+25 Points

“So, is it just a speech about how happy I am for the couple or some s**t like that?” Colt asked.

“Yeah pretty much.” Damon answered.

Colt gave a little laugh like it was no big deal, “Oh yeah man, I can handle that.”

“Good!” Damon said, wrapping his arm around Colt’s shoulder and leaning in like he was telling him. a secret. “Cuz bro there’s certain things I need you to leave out.” Then they started walking off a

little to the side.

I started looking around and since I wasn’t talking to anyone, I ended up in my head.

If Colt didn’t know about the speech, then maybe he didn’t know about the strip club bachelor party, or the bachelorette party. We didn’t do those things before our wedding, but I guess at the time I just assumed that was because we were in the middle of a crazy haze or something like

that.

Maybe I should start making sure he knows all of the different traditions for things while we’re in places like this.

I feel like maybe if I had informed him of the traditions yesterday, then maybe last night wouldn’t have happened. Then I started wondering what happened at the bachelor party and why he ended up at the bachelorette party just in time to save me. Did he do something that he was coming to confess to? Was he angry that I went to the bachelorette party?

Now I can’t wait for him to be done talking to Damon. I want to know.