The Big Sky Alpha novel Chapter 34

FREYA POV

I guess I can understand, to an extent. I mean, it’s not like I knew I’d be fated within seconds of arriving here. I can’t expect him to make decisions that would have benefited me.

I also can’t fault him for enjoying sex with someone before we met, it hurts knowing that and as much as I really want to be mad about that it’s not justified.

However, the decisions he’s made after finding out we’re fated mates is my problem. He lied to me. He lied from the very first time I brought her up after she freaked out on me at the market area.

How do you trust someone who’s been lying to you? I know Jasmine said he’s not touched her since the haze started which means he hasn’t touched her since he met me, but why lie to me about it?

What else is he lying about though? How do I tell if he’s lying from here on out? How do I trust him again?

Walking back to the house was pretty quiet until it was in sight. Then he decided to finally speak again.

“I’m sorry Freya. I shouldn’t have lied to you. I think I just got in my head too much. When you first said something about her I was worried you would hate me more than you already appeared to.” he sighed, “Then I was worried I’d make you feel bad because we’d been having sex, you lost your virginity to me. It’s not like it’s your first haze so that’s absolutely amazing.”

“Lying to me made me feel bad, so I really don’t think you accomplished much there.” I said, trying to not accept what he was saying.

“I think I hurt you more now than I would have if I’d just been honest with you, I just didn’t think about the consequences of you finding out when I did it and now I have to live with that.” he seemed upset, I could feel his worry, his sadness, I knew he felt bad but that wasn’t the point. I don’t care if he feels bad I need to be able to trust my mate and right now I don’t.

I stopped walking and closed my eyes. I took a deep breath taking in the world around me through my other senses. I did like it out here, it’s beautiful, the air is clean, the feeling of freedom is overwhelming at times, I don’t want to leave this place.

“Freya, I’m so sorry.” he said, and I only just realized then that I had started crying.

I opened my eyes and sighed, “Let’s just get through one problem at a time. Right now our biggest problem is that your ex broke the spell. Let’s just pray to the goddess that he knows how we can fix it.” I began walking again and he walked with me.

When we walked in, my parents and Jessi and Levi were already sitting with Eunice, waiting for us.

I was done wasting time and letting Colt handle this as alpha, it’s my turn to handle things like the Luna.

“Eunice, we figured out who killed the witch. Now, we need to fix this. Do you have any idea how we do that?” I walked right over to him and knelt in front of his seat.

“Child, you need a coven strong enough to cast a spell like that. Then they need to either be immortal or become immortal.” he said with a very sorry look on his face.

“How would we go about doing that? Wolves and witches aren’t exactly best friends.” I asked, there has to be a way. He came here, insisted on coming here. It couldn’t have just been to tell us the spell was broken by one of our wolves, right?

“Go to the witches cabin at the bottom of the mountain. Witches keep books and scrolls, she was thousands of years old so she had plenty I’m sure.” he said.

Then he placed his hand on my cheek very gently and said, “The goddess can help you if you let her child. You’re more powerful than you know.”

“Am I not letting her help me, Eunicé?” I asked, I could feel Colt’s eyes on me, they haven’t left me. I’m not sure what he’s feeling right now, but it’s something kind of like pride maybe.

“You need to be one that goes to her home. I think you could learn an awful lot from what you find.” he smiled.

I stood and thanked him. I turned to everyone, Colt, Jessi, Levi and myself will travel down to find this witch’s cabin. We will bring back anything we find that can be of use. For now, prepare everyone. Jasmine needs to be secluded, but with a haze partner so she doesn’t go crazy.” listing off demands was new to me, but I think I might be good at it.

“How do we prepare everyone?’ my mother asked.

I thought for a second, “Warn the other alphas, have them take responsibility for their packs. Proceed with the games as usual, the next couple nights we will not be missed since none of our packs are in the battles. This should give us time to get to her cabin and back with whatever we find.”

I went to go upstairs but I turned back with one last thought, “Don’t start a panic with the people. Just make sure the alphas all know that the haze will be getting more intense. Aside from those who already know I don’t think everyone needs to know the details just yet.” then I continued walking up the stairs.

Everyone dispersed and Colt took Eunice to the room that he would have stayed in tonight if we were staying.

It’s almost dinner time, so I made a mental note to stop and grab some food, not that I’m very hungry right now, but it might be nice to have snacks for later. I grabbed a small bag from my stuff and I set an outfit on the bed, I needed a hot shower to wash today off of me.

I heard Colt walk in the bathroom, then I didn’t hear him again. Suddenly I felt his arms wrap around me.

“You’re already an amazing Luna. I’m sure that doesn’t mean much from me right now, but I wanted to tell you.” he whispered to me.

Every spot his arms touched lit up like fireworks. The mate bond is powerful, and it’s not even complete yet. I wish it knew when to not make me want him. I loved his touch, but I’m still mad at him.

“Why are you here? Shouldn’t you wait until I’m finished before taking a shower?” I said, but even I didn’t believe the anger in my voice.

He turned me around, “You may hate me, but that doesn’t change how I feel about you.” he leaned down to kiss me, I stopped him for just a second but when he tried again I didn’t stop him.

Truth is, I still want him. I don’t trust him, but he’s my mate and everything in my body is screaming for his touch. Stella is begging me to forgive him and move on because she needs him and Max too. The strength of a mate bond is powerful.

I whispered against his lips, “I don’t hate you Colt, I just don’t trust you anymore.” and I kissed him.