The Alpha and His Contract Luna (Lauren) novel Chapter 142

Darren.

I’ve been in a kind of a funk these past few days. Since I told Mayra the truth I can’t help feeling that she pulled away from me. That she was keeping her distance. I felt like I was losing her and I didn’t know what to do.

I thought that honesty was the best policy. She would have found out eventually so what was the point of hiding the truth from her? It was better to hear it from the horse’s mouth. What I didn’t think about was the possibility that I would lose her because how can anyone trust a cheater?

I wanted to give her space. I was giving her space to breathe and decide without having me confuse things for her. It was hard though. So fucking hard.

I’ve never wanted anyone with the intensity that I wanted Mayra but here I was, there was a possibility that I would eventually lose her. If I did, I was as good as dead.

Was this my punishment for what I did to Ren? Was karma finally catching up to me? If it were then this would be the single most painful punishment dished out to me.

“What are you doing here all alone?” Sebastian sits next to me.

I had taken a break and I was in my office. The last thing I needed was my pack to see me brooding during a celebratory party for my Luna.

“Thinking” I mumble.

I really wasn’t in the mood to chat.

Sebastian has become sort of a friend. We would never be close. Too much has happened for us to be best buddies but we’re civil and we’re friendly. That was more than enough given he was Krystal’s step dad.

“Does your thoughts have to do with Mayra?” he asks.

I chuckle at that. “Was I that obvious?”

“Not really, I just know how to look beyond what others see” he replies with a shrug.

Leave it to Sebastian Ashford not to overlook anything. This was one of the reasons he was the top dog. The strongest Alpha and I’m saying that with nothing but respect. He never lets anything slip him. He and Ren are truly a power couple.

“How come you never told me that Mayra was your fated?” I ask him curiously.

He frowns a bit. “Because it didn’t matter. We rejected each other so there was no need for anyone to know that the goddess had paired us. I was in love with Ren and there was no fucking way I was going to leave her, moon goddess’ will or not. Ren was mine, I refused to give her up”

“Weren’t you afraid of the consequences? Afraid that you would eventually fall out of love with her and seek Mayra?”

I wanted to know because that’s what I did. I didn’t fall out of love with Ren but I was blinded by the allure of being with my fated mate. I know that Ren thought I never loved her. Even when we were mated but I did.

I just held a part of me from her because in the back of my mind I felt I wasn’t worth being with her. I was afraid that she would eventually choose someone else over me like Miranda. She did choose someone else but not because she hadn’t loved me but because I had royally fucked up and killed the love she had for me.

“Fuck no!” Bash pulls me from my thoughts. “Mayra is attractive, sure but to me she doesn’t hold a candle to Ren. Ren owns me body, mind and soul. She’s my mate in every way. She was fated to be mine, that's one thing I believe…what’s this about anyway?”

I get what he’s saying. Didn’t I feel that way about Mayra? That she was my fated. Our connection was real and tangible.

“I told Mayra the truth about what happened between me and Ren and what I did to her. She didn’t take it well. In fact she’s been distant since them”

“Ah. Now the weird looks and tension between you two made sense. I’m going to be honest Darren, you were a douchebag. An asshole of all proportions. I have other few choice words I can call you”

I wince at that. “Don’t hold back or anything”

He holds his hand up and silences me. “You were a bastard for doing what you did when she did nothing but love you. That isn’t going to change. Any woman in her right mind would be skeptical about you after hearing how you almost destroyed a woman that loved you.

Not to mention the fact that you cheated on her. It doesn’t matter if you did it with your fated or shit, the fact is you went behind Ren’s back and fucked a woman that rejected you then proceeded to throw her aside”