I reach my room and start pacing. Everything was crashing in on me and I didn't know what to do. My lungs felt constricted. I couldn’t breathe.
Why was this happening to me? I thought that after I got free everything would be good. Everything would be perfect. I was so fucking wrong. Everything was out of control and I felt like I was drowning.
“Karma is a bitch, isn’t she?” Raya says, coming out of her hiding hall.
“Shut up, I don’t have time for you” I scream in my head. “Especially after you abandoned me when I needed”
The events of the night were catching up to me. I can’t believe that Iris is here. Can’t believe that I almost died today. I especially can’t believe that Raya abandoned me to die. That she had hoped that the beast would kill me.
“How could you Raya? After everything we’ve been through…how could you just leave me like that?”
She gives me what I presume is a shrug. She has no regrets and doesn’t feel bad.
I was on the verge of tears. My heart was tearing apart and I had no way of stopping it. Everything inside me hurts. Seeing Iris reminded me of all I went through and how it seems the goddess is against me.
Did she hate me that much? Even after sending someone to rescue us, I was still in misery. I was still in pain and everything seemed to be against me. Haven’t I been through enough already?
“No you haven’t…this is just the beginning, trust me, there is more to come and I can’t wait to see you suffer” she gives me an evil smile before slinking off.
I fall on my bed in a heap and cry. I’m unable to hold back the tears. The pain comes rushing out of me like an avalanche. I feel like I’m being buried alive. Being buried under the layers and layers of pain and agony.
I just want all of it to end. The pain and the heartache.
I want to be happy. To be free. To be whole. I don’t want to wake up each day with nothing but emptiness and fragments of myself. Was that too much to ask?
“Please goddess, whatever I’ve done wrong please forgive me, and take away my suffering and pain. Please.” I beg, my words clogging my throat.
There is no answer from her. No reassurance. No comforting inner soft voice. There is nothing but silence and that speaks more than words.
I don’t know for how long I lay there crying when my door opens and someone enters. I have no strength to lift my head up and check who it is.
“Mayra…” she calls, her voice soft.
I don’t look up. She is the last person I want to see. I just want to be alone.
She doesn’t get the hint. Instead I hear her soft footsteps then I feel her weight on the bed. She gently lifts my head and places it on her lap. It is a difficult and weird position given her baby bump.
“I’m sorry May. So sorry for judging you. I know your character, we’ve bonded through your pain. I should have trusted your heart because I’ve seen it and I know that you don’t have a single mean or selfish bone in your body”
Her words make me cry more. I just feel so lost right now.
I grab her hand and hold it tightly in mine. Right now she’s my anchor to the present. Without her I feel like I will collapse into a thousand pieces.
“It’s okay, Mayra…everything will be alright, you’ll see. Just trust in the moon goddess’ plan” she whispers, hugging me close.
I internally scoff at her words. The goddess’ plans concerning me have never been good. In fact it’s like she has something against me.
When I’ve finally run out of tears, I lift my head from her lap and sit up. I wipe the remaining tears from my face and face her.
Comments
The readers' comments on the novel: The Alpha and His Contract Luna (Lauren)
I don't think the the plot for krystals book is something I would like to dark. I would had thought Krystal and something with Jax would have been a better plot....
Finally I'm fucking done author please research heavy topics extensively before writing about them again. When you don’t you often end up victim blaming alot...
I don't even feel sad about Raya fuck her there’s allot of things that trauma is responsible for and letting the people you love die while you enjoy watching isn’t fucking one of them like the authors writing when it comes to these topics are fucking piss fucking put like the victim blaming the dismissal of valid feelings the excuses for the people who hurt her like eww don’t ever touch on subjects like these until you’ve done the appropriate extensive research on these topics. Then ill read your works that touch on these subjects again. The only reason I’m still here is cause ive already started the story....
I knew the goddamn therapist was a fucking weirdo...
Again the therapist is incorrectly saying what’s going on. If Raya took the empirical trauma it’d be Raya that she’d be talking to. Mayra took the emotional AND physical trauma of what’s going on and both Raya and Mayra are experiencing shared mental effects of that trauma with Raya experiencing the effects on the more angered and blaming side. None of this makes Mayra a terrible companion it actually makes Raya a terrible companion if you want to place blame....
Bruh can’t she just get the moon goddess to like give her a new wolf or remove her from the one she got ? She gone be human either fucking way with the way that bitch of a wolf be acting...
The therapist is fixing weird like she was doing so good till she fucking invalidated Mayra’s feelings towards her baby that was forced upon her by her realist that popped up before she was even done healing like what ? Its normal for victims to feel that way towards a rapper baby and what the therapist should have fucking said was yeah Mayra it’s normal to feel that way you’re still haunted by your rapport and haven’t yet healed and it doesn’t help that your daughter looks like him once healed you could make a decision on whether you want to be in her life as her mother or give her up for adoption it’s all up to you but for now you need to focus on healing before attempting to mother a child who looks like your rapist. In the meantime have your child stay with a trusted person so that you can heal and make the correct decision for yourself as a healed woman. But no the therapist says try loving her and being a mother to your rapists child right now even if you haven’t healed yet. Like huh ? You’re fucking weird and the author is weird for this as well. Maybe before writing about a touchy subject please do more research In terms of how to go about the aftermath of trauma and healing because this invalidated a lot of rape victims who hated their children before healing and coming to love and care for them without blame....
We’ll do e. I enjoyed every moment....
Danke :)...
The Mayra and Darren story, the ending…it’s like the book isn’t finished. And the typo on the vows need to be fixed, like it’s a copy and paste. They’re were errors, but it wasn’t a bad series. I truly loved Ren and Bash. Now, what about Krystal, the new Oracle....